NATURE VS NURTURE: RIGHT VS LEFT

- by Juwah C. O.  

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For more than a decade this topic has polarized Nigerians, provoking a heated debate wherever it arises. Some Nigerians list the pro's while others list the con's. I for one, am skeptical but ultimately disagree with the introduction of GM - Genetically Modified - crops or seedlings to our economy and ecosystem at large.

Those on the left who support the radical introduction of GM crops say the benefits outweigh the possible consequences as improved yields and stronger resistance to pests and diseases will improve food reach, reduce food imports resulting in reduced foreign exchange (forex) expenditure. These probable outcomes, if they indeed materialize, would be welcome in any economy. However, we must not summarily dismiss the probable consequences of adopting GM crops; unbridled perennial dependence on biotech firms for seeds, uncharted disruption of our ecosystem by the new strains and even more pernicious, uncertain health implications as genetically modified crops are currently, albeit speculatively, being linked with certain ravaging infirmities like cancers.

For those on my side of the fence, those closer to the right, I believe we all agree that GM is not the better way to go. Why? Start with the reasons stated above but aside from these, there is another reason for my skepticism about our enthusiasm for GM crops. This extra personal thought is the recurring trend of Ministers of Agriculture insisting that GM crops will be introduced, usually at the beginning of presidential cycles. Could this be a tell-tale sign of POSSIBLE unnecessary external influence from biotech firms?

If this is the reality, then it may not just end well for the source of these self-interested external pressures. The whole situation reminds me of a certain failed energy deal Nigeria had with a certain foreign firm a few regimes ago. This 'burton-deal' which was meant to "help" solve our energy problems was heavily skewed in favour of the foreign firm. The deal would have short-changed us greatly. If the introduction of GM crops is primarily for the benefit of some large corporation hiding in the shadows with plans to short change Nigeria then this would be another reason to remain right.

Nigerians should be careful with what we let through our borders, as "gifts" may be difficult to regulate and are more often than not, profit motivated. Unfortunately, however, the profit is rarely ever in our favour.

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TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! #RIO

[Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock...]

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As I heard the explosion, everything slowed down just like in the matrix and in one swift motion I leapt out of the passenger’s seat – it was a Toyota something, everything else was a blur. I scanned the express – left, right, and left again like we're supposed to; there were cars and trucks but I couldn’t be bothered. I dashed across the first half of the road, weaving past one speeding trailer then another and a Peugeot 504 before flipping over the highway divider like a gymnast – my blood was pumping, my heart was beating, I was only halfway there…

…the other side was in sight but the frenzy between where I was and where I had to be was livid; I had to make it across the second half of the highway but there was Road Rage! Still, I couldn’t afford to hover over any position for even a second – Willi-willi [like Agent Smith from The Matrix] was hot on my tail so I couldn't look back, I went for it. I boosted past the first Sienna - another Toyota vehicle; I dodged the incoming BRT by the skin of my teeth – it was red and vicious; I hesitated in the nick of time to feel the full force of the wind raging behind the Camry that zoomed off without apology – yet another Toyota. My pupils were dilated, my sense of perception was 4G, I survived…

 [If you notice I had to practise ‘left, right and left again’ to get across one side of the express because this is Naija mehn and someone doing 240kmph on 'one-way' iz norma].

…I forged on ahead as the goal was in sight and like Chioma Ajunwa and Simone Manuel, I was about to set an Olympic record – I was about to cross the express in LAGOS. Just before I crossed the finish line, however, I caught from the corner of my eye, a glimpse of the true picture behind me. The explosion I heard was actually the sound of the exhaust of a tokunbo motto begging for mercy and the Willi-willi I thought I saw was a #teamLaiSkin babe, but she was no ordinary #teamLaiSkin; the babe  done use bleaching cream brighten her destiny.

The Olympics will be coming to Nigeria soon and when it does, don’t worry, I’ll be the one to run with the torchlight.

It was over in a Flash, I had set a new world record, the Gold was mine!

Time is of the essence; Le monde appartient a ceux qui se leve tot. The difference between victory and defeat could be less than the time it takes akara to fry; so if there is only one thing you must know during these games in Rio or wherever they may be, it is to keep moving forward and never look back, because…

Time Is of The Essence!

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aka

Oga do shap shap!

[...Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock.]

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IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, IT’S, IT’S…AKPOS!

[Theme Music: ahhh, Ijo Shoki leleyi, Shoki!]

Super Akpororo (by Joshua Zirigbe)

It’s superhero time folks and yes you guessed right, it’s Akpororo! Who were you expecting? Superman?? Pleaasse, Akpororo is far greater. He is larger than life, faster than a speeding danfo, can eat Yoruba stew without drinking water (ma gawd! *tears* the pepper!!!), and yes you guessed right, Akpos can witness power outage without shouting “Up Nepa!” Akpororo is a true hero, rocking his green, white and green spandex with pride #IPledgeToNigeriaMyCountry.

There is a need for a personality for the children, and in fact everybody, to believe in. A dependable character worthy both in character and in learning; a hero who can defeat the evil forces of Boko Haram in a single episode – okay maybe two, one of those “…to be continued” episodes. We need a superhero that can fry plantain without betraying our trust by sampling from the frying pan while we are watching cartoon in the parlor; We need SuperAkpos! #ToBeFaithfulLoyalAndHonest. 

There is a need for this personality to fight battles that this younger generation, and even the old, can relate to; battles that they, despite their youth, can tell that when won, will set their country, yes THEIR country, on the path of a brighter tomorrow. We need this knight in shining agbada to speak fluent pidgin English with quality phòné and without unnecessary gbagaun; he will mediate for us when illegal aliens come from out of space to try and take over the world – No be for only yankee dem fit land jare #ToServeNigeriaWithAllHisStrength.

He will leap over Aso Rock in a single bound, fight corruption to a standstill like Lagos go-slow and his secret lair will be in Sambisa forest as we are all well aware that that place is impenetrable. Super Akpororo will take care of the league of shadows while soaking garri with groundnut and solving quantitative; he will teach all the divisive politicians a lesson and expose all the dollars and pounds that they are hiding under their caps #ToDefendHerUnity. 

Now, there is a status quo; people are hustling and suffering while a few are living off the sweat of the ‘suffering jaki’. There is a need for an end to be put to this dehumanizing condition under which millions of people are barely existing and we need Akpos The Guy to come show us that it is indeed achievable; that people that have long suffered and who have since lost all sense of hope can still be allowed to see the light of life #AndUpholdHerHonourAndGlory.

Are you frustrated with the current state of things around you, do you get a headache every time you step out of the sanity and sanctity of your own home? – If you are lucky enough to live in one. Do you want to bring about a revolution; do you want to save the suffering souls of the marauding masses? Even if you do, the unfortunate thing is that sometimes, these souls have become so loving of their plight that they don’t want to let go, they do not want to be saved. It is at this point that we need Bros Akpos even more; Akpororo knows that there are forces greater than even he and he always remembers, for he is not proud, to ask for the strength to serve and protect for even our great hero knows he is not invincible – but at least no be yeye stone abi kryptonite go disturb Akpos, na pounded yam go fall ‘im hand, e no go fit resist am with egusi soup #SoHelpHimGod.

[Clap for yourself, you have now completed the pledge!]

But before we go, we need to ask one more favour from our Ororo… 

We need Prof Kpos to save us from the antiheroes among us. You often find them seething or foaming at the mouth behind closed doors but when they arrive in the town-square, they cannot even gather the courage to look their oppressors in the eyes, they stare rather, like maltreated dogs, at their feet, heads bowed in submission. It disgusts me! When you try to motivate them to aspire, to fight for what they deserve, you meet with lethargy and generally nonchalant retorts like: 

“Oboy, na Nigeria we dey o, no be America”, “Na me wan die?”,

“Wetin consign you, na your broda?”, “Na so things dey na.”

From the elite, the response is even more nauseating; they hole up behind the giant walls of their castles and behave as if anything happening beyond their front gates is of no concern to them. At them, in particular, I laugh, and ask that they remember Hitler started his ‘war’ by first making a certain class of people ‘disappear’ and nobody cared but eventually, he came for those that ‘did not care’ and there was nobody to care for them.

Akpos is coming soon to save a city near you; This is why my friend, course-mate-emeritus and talented artist, T.josh and I are working on a couple of Naija-Anime (behind the scenes of course, Josh don’t kill me o #Spoiler). I am certain that when the caption finally drops, Spiderman, Ironman and even Batman will be begging to feature. We wee not agree. 

Ekaette the Fufu Bender (by Joshua Zirigbe)

Super Akpos to the rescue!

NB: Ekaette The Fufu Bender is not Akpos The Guy's sidekick,  na only she fit pound the yam wey dey confuse Akpos, lol


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