Friday 28 August 2015

MACHO MEN: THE SWEAT AND THE GLORY!

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King Leonidas and his brave 300 fought in sweat and in blood till death for glory. The 300 Spartan soldiers faced without fear the Persian ‘god-King’ Xerxes and his unimaginable army of more than 300,000 men at that faithful narrow pass befittingly named the Hot Gates. Theirs was the Battle of Thermopylae and that narrow path was without a doubt their road to perdition; for that night, they surely dined in hell as King Leonidas promised. #300

"THIS…IS…SPARTA!!!"
- King Leonidas

[Switch-Up] Spartacus, Gannicus, Crixus, Oenomaus, Ashur and all the other gladiators of Capua fought gallantly on the Blood and Sand in the ludus, they were Gods of The Arena! But out of Vengance (because of babe) Spartacus himself decided to lead a revolution against the House of Batiatus and then against Claudius Glaber and the rest of the Roman Empire in a War, of the Damned! #Spartacus 


"My *Rock* Rages On!" 
- Gannicus 

[Switch-Up] He-Man was the most powerful man in the universe - with an intellect to match. He was also the Prince of Eternia and you will know him if you were born in the 90s and watched a lot of cartoons. Along with his pet Tiger ‘Battle Cat’, a mighty sword and a super sorceress (an Ekaette) by his side, he protects Eternia and Castle ‘Gray Skull’ against the forces of Skeletor!. He-Man could lift and throw a castle, a mountain or an iceburg with his bare hands and despite his strength and physique, he was quick and acrobatic! #HeMan


"By the power of Grayskull! For the honor of Grayskull!!!" - He-Man

Enough with all this reminiscing [check out Reminisce’s album ‘Baba Hafusa’, I hear say e dey blow, no carry last o]. What do 300, Spartacus and He-Man have in common? Yes, you’re right, very plenty macho men! Do you know what it takes to be built like Brock Lesnar, The Rock, The Undertaker, Me, Hulk Hogan or Triple H? Do you know what it takes to be a perfect Greek 6pac statue/demi-god? Let me tell you now, it is not easy. It takes a lot of hard work; sweat, time and effort but at the end of it all comes the Glory! Ahhhh!!!

Most people these days just want to wake up and *tada* have everything they have ever wanted right there at their feet. To them I say Ogbeni wake up well! The one that you are waking up now is from sleep level 2 just like in Inception, we are still waiting for you in the real world. 

We the people of this generation are suffering from a very terrible perception, one whose source I cannot accurately pinpoint but whatever its origin, we must change it. We are suffering from a mentality that demonizes hard work but still wants the glory; we all just want desk jobs where we can sit for 8 hours a day, do almost nothing and get paid a million at the end of every month. I laugh! - but sha if you know any job like this, abeg hook your boy up o. Do not misunderstand me, it is good to aspire to great heights but some kind of dreams, especially those not backed by solid plans and diligence are equivalent to ‘longathroat’, grand theft and larceny! You have to pay your dues because overnight does not happen in one night.

My mechanic, for instance, has an apprentice (like a Jedi padawan from Star Wars) and this apprentice is still quite young but the tenacity with which this chap is picking up the trade, I believe he might own several proper garages before he hits 30! He has started paying his dues, putting in hours a day to learn and understand and later when he blows, bad belle will start to worry some people that are sleeping now. The ability to use our hands to earn a living, artisanship, is a skill we must also never forget; not always Suit&Tie, sometimes bend back and sweat! Regardless of the level of your intellectual education; be a professor or super scholar, there is a certain satisfaction that comes from being able to create or do something tangible with your hands. Even if you want to create something that cannot be touched, there are a million and one fields for you, like music. I in particular have a thing for guitars and my guitar is named Schlum.

A danger, in my opinion, of modernization or westernization as we often call it (why west, why not east, north or south?) is that it tends to make hard work look like a sin. As I said before, people just want easy money; ‘do nothing and make millions’ kind of money. If the great Egyptians and Romans of old were like we are today, who would have built what we now call civilization. Yes I know they had slaves but at least they worked to catch the slaves before the slaves could do the rest of the work.
We have so much demonised hard work that some people will even be forming ‘bad guy’ to sweep their own rooms *sigh* just filthy. We like to pretend that we never have to do any dirty deeds, always forming fresh, and then some of these ‘fresh bad guys’ wonder why their bank accounts are dusty and collecting cobwebs. Clean up your act; bend your back and sweat! Now, let me tell you a story that will tell you something.

[Story, story…stooory] For the longest time, my father had this newspaper vendor, one of those ones that go from street to street blowing those infamous newspaper horns. I don't even know how to transcribe the sound of that thing, I think it goes *poopu poopu*, lol. There was something special about this vendor; it was a sleight of hand that could easily be missed if one was not very observant because the gentleman carried out his job with a certain degree of poise and panache. Mr Vendor was special because he reminded me always of Blood Diamonds (hmm, the second Leonardo Dicaprio Movie in this piece so far) simply because he was missing a hand. Not a whole hand, just from his right wrist up. Despite his handicap, however, the man marched on day after day, in sun or under rain to deliver the morning papers.

Finally, there is a certain ‘feel good rush’ that can only be felt from sweat. Even if you unscrupulously become as rich as The Wolf of Wall Street, without hard work, your story will remain as tragic as the Titanic’s or that of Romeo and Juliet. We need to Unchain ourselves like Django, but this time from the slavery of laziness, so that we can become as Great as Gatsby not because we work with the Gangs of New York or because we are snitches from The Departed but because we are simply great like J. Edgar, founder of the FBI. 

We need to fly like Aviators above any form of Compulsive Disorder that makes us want to take that devilishly quick route and remember, that the devil’s road only leads to the mad-house on Shutter Island.

So be a Macho Man (or woman), Sweat and feel the Glory!

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[PS: If you are a true Leonardo Dicaprio fan then you will truly understand the last two paragraphs, if you are not, well, then you have a lot of movies to watch, 12 by my count]



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