GLO WITH PRIDE

(Image Source)

Before we begin I must first and foremost state that this is not a paid editorial, in other words, neither Globacom Limited nor any of its subsidiaries has remunerated me in cash or in kind to affect the title of any of my art, to in anyway positively or negatively influence the ministry of Globacom Limited. Now that I have said that, let me equally say this:

"Uncle Adenuga, your boy is loyal o!" 

*Prostrates* 

So where were we? Ah, yes. On May 16, 2001, MTN became the first GSM network to make a call in Nigeria - ah ahn clap for them nw, is it easy?. I can remember this vividly because both my parents got new sim cards at a price of about ₦20,000 each and my mum in particular purchased, to use with her new MTN line, a rock solid Nokia 3310 that could survive a drop from the top of Aso Rock, Zuma Rock or even Mount Kilimanjaro, aswear! It was a period of euphoria because this new wireless technology had just saved millions of Nigerians from the ineptitude, nonchalance and outright disrespect of the service called NITEL that they had been forced to live with, without choice, for innumerable years; those were darker times. For saving us, I will forever be grateful to the ‘Everywhere You Go’ network. 

In August 2003, Glo Mobile was launched in Nigeria and as soon as Uncle Mike’s team hit the ground, we all realised that our ‘saviours’ had indeed been exploiting us, milking us like the ignorant cows that we were. Globacom Nigeria came in with lower call rates, gave us the option of per second billing and drastically crashed the price of sim cards amongst the other gifts that they brought in their goody bag. At this point, it is important you know that Glo was the fourth GSM operator to be launched in Obodo Naija. This means that before the coming of our brother’s company, three foreign corporations were in cahoots to do us strong tin. Fortunately however, Glo stepped in With Pride and saved all of us some hard cash. I even remember that at some point, one could buy a Glo sim for ₦200 only and would receive ₦200 airtime for free! For saving us, I will forever be grateful to the ‘Rule Your World’ network.

I briefly mentioned in a previous piece titled After School Special that Nigerians have a certain ‘KKK-Kobo’ proclivity that is neither healthy nor healthful for our economy and I am about to pick up from where I left off. What I am about to say is completely and uttery biased so if you have a problem, feel free to use the door *opens door*. 

Many of us, Nigerians, are very guilty of using phones, yes mobile phones - give me a minute. You are probably curious as to what crime you have committed by owning your very own mobile device; probably a Turaya or a Sagem sef. I will tell your offense, it is called sim card - give me another minute.  A service provider sets up towers and masts in and around your neighbourhood and sells you a trademarked sim so that you can access his/her facilities to call babes/bobos, mugus, magas, colleagues and lest we forget, your family - they should come first you know. 

Now, let me ask you a question. Why are you using any other line but the one you should be using? You are probably foaming at the mouth now with excuses like their network is poor, their data service is slow and the likes but news flash people "Monkey no fine but im mama like am!" If we do not support our own, who will? We keep selling out our profits and opportunities for improvement and expansion and by so doing we deny our motherland of activating so much rife potential. I know our problems seem to be more intricate than a Shakespeare’s prose and even greater than the works by the world’s most published author; L. Ron Hubbard (1084 publications) but we still must do our best to untangle the intricate web and reduce the number of our problems by at least 1084. We need to support Made In Nigeria or Offered By Nigeria!

Let me utilize this opportunity to admonish and sternly warn all our indigenous companies. Bia, wetin dey worry all of you!? People are looking to support you and your struggle yet all you think of is how to cheat and exploit them and then you cry that there is no local support. Masa (Ghanaian slang for bros) better behave yourselves if not we will just completely ditch you! Have you guys seen the size of some local biscuits these days? Those things are so small! It is almost like they are now being made for dogs and pussy cats, no longer children going to school - *sings* 8 O'Clock is the hour of school. The one that busts my head the most is some very popular sausage roll whose name I shall not name that no longer has sausage inside, they are now just empty flower rolls painted pink in the middle. My mother swears that some new superior packs and hungry animal packs of our favourite spaghetti used to be the original size, so one can infer from this ‘swearing’ that the spaghetti producers have just #broughtbacktheoriginal product and are making us pay more for it, ridiculous!

(Image Source: Pending)

[Substitution] If you have been following my blog then by now you would have noticed that I tend to have a little extra gist midway every now and again and since the English Premiere League has resumed it is only apt that I call this one ‘Substitution’ - I hope you also watch the Nigerian Premiere League. 

Right, so almost everywhere you go in Nigeria today: shop shop shop, have we lost all sense of decency and planning? I know I'm saying Glo With Pride and support local industry but Nigeria is turning into a rowdy market! Even in our traditions and customs, a man does not make a market out of his own home let alone his father's house. That is why we have different words for home and market in every language. Today, however, in the middle of the express we sell pepper, in front of our houses we sell chewing gum and to my utmost irritation, we have converted parks, playgrounds and just good to see open space to flea market stalls for almost always not made in Nigeria products. We need to restore some discipline to our society. Maybe now that Buhari is here again, he will bring back his Kick Against Indiscipline (KAI) Campaign.

[Back To Glo] We have so many local products that are striving, competing with international products despite the difficulty of their operating terrain; I will give shout outs to Tito’s Furaghourt (Fura yoghourt), Beloxxy and God Is Good transport services; GIG has really stepped up its game. The essence of today’s revolution is to plant a seed in your mind so that the next time you decide to procure a service or buy a product you will either look at the competing labels to ensure that the one that wins your money is the one that is Made In Nigeria or you will ask to confirm which of the service providers is owned solely or mostly by Nigerians. Only and only when there is no Nigerian option should we then consider anything else but that should never even be the case.

Now let me end this piece with a lesson in economics to my rich kids whose parents have plenty free money lying carelessly around. The best way to save wealth is in the form of an interest yielding asset/venture, you should have noticed by now that liquid assets aka kudi/ego/owo will always just flow away and disappear. Now, even Bill Gates initially borrowed money from family to start up Microsoft and Dangote did the same to start up Dangote Industries. You too can try to do it big, especially if you know losing the cash will not hurt your daddy’s pocket, take the risk, the rewards could be far greater than you could have ever imagined, you could be the next numero uno on Forbes List. Besides, people with plenty money in the bank that are not doing anything with it are stalling our economy; be creative and invest!

The bottom line is whatever you do, in whichever way you decide to do it - please keep it legit o - support Nigeria and Nigerians and you will truly Glo With Pride!

(Image Source)

Next