THE LOCAL HOGWARTS EXPRESS

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Image Source)

The Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry is the institution for the best and finest sorcerers in England, nay, the world; producing the likes of Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Karishika (ask Nollywood), maybe Ron Weasley but definitely Tom Marvolo Riddles better known as Lord Voldermot. The Hogwarts express is that lovely bright red train on King's Cross Station platform 9&3/4s that drove us for more than a decade through an impossible world of secret chambers, magic stones, dragons, prisons, phoenixes and deathly hallows. The world of Hogwarts was a splendid dream and we thank Joanne K. Rowling for that world, but no matter how pleasant a dream may be, we need to wake up sometime.

I heard a cock crow the other day for the first time in ages; probably because I was in my grandfather’s countryside home. It reminded me of how much more simple life is outside cities like Lagos and Los Angeles and at the same time, it reminded me of the fears that people have of things that go bump in the night - not the Bogeyman, next level bumping. I remembered the last time I heard the call of a nocturnal bird in Lagos and the reaction of anti-demonic incantations and ‘casting&binding’ it elicited from the people around me - don’t even let me get started on what happens when Nigerians (West Africans) see a cat. I was quite saddened that day because I am and will always be a lover of birds, a fan of the National Geographic channel and other wild life and nature shows, it was just a bird doing what it does.

The problem of ‘witchcraft and wizardry’ in Nigeria has become an issue that needs to be discussed. The fear of the dark-arts seems to be taking over the rational mind of the people; they do or refuse to do a lot in the name of creatures and spirits that ‘fly at night’, it is almost as if we are going back to the dark ages. Although I have never seen any person or unnatural creature flying above my roof at night, and hope never to see any, the belief that this phenomenon is real and strongly influences the day to day life of our society is firmly planted in the heads and hearts of so many across the country. It is akin to the belief of the Greeks of old in the Moirai, the Sisters of Faith seen in Hercules as the three witches sharing an eye. Unfortunately however, I am currently not speaking of folklore like the Leprechauns of the Irish but rather of truly evil creatures of misery and death that are running amok today, real life wizards or so they claim.

The belief that there are groups of people who meet in strange places in the dead of the night to plan nothing but the downfall of their families and neighbours is quite frankly enshrined. I cannot say for certain but I believe this has lent momentum to the proliferation of religious houses, deliverance sessions and overnight crusades that would be difficult to miss were you to take a stroll around the country. Fortunately for the Europeans and North Americans, I would say, they have long since burnt their evil practitioners at the stakes and if there are any witches left, their craft must have been put to better use; making mobile phones instead of magic mirrors and high speed jets instead of flying broomsticks.

 Wiccan (Image Source)

The reason I believe this situation of ethereal fears, legitimate or not, needs to be discussed is that it seems to have engendered an atmosphere where nobody is responsible for his or her own actions and inactions anymore. If anything goes wrong or is not just right, one simply has to blame any of the many ‘witches’ shooting ‘evil arrows’ from the villages. For instance, a plane crashes and there is no proper investigation into the cause of the crash, rather people postulate the individual in the flight who must have been the target of evil entities. People have switched reason for ‘my pastor said’ and I find this disturbing. We have to realise that clergy often speak figuratively because if this were not the case then some among us would be sheep and eat grass while others would be goats and well, still eat grass.

A friend recently told me of his experience of almost being mobbed by a group of religious crusaders for politely, as he claimed, and sincerely asking them to move out of the way because they were literally on the road to his house. They claimed he was sent by the devil to disrupt their session. “You chop winch?”, he was asked, an all too common question that reflects the latent psyche of the masses but as funny as the question may sound, one must never respond in the positive, otherwise, you may be forced to relieve the 1692 Massachusetts trials of the Salem Witches - the women were hanged.

I personally recently came across a rather funny article. You know those dreams that you have of being chased by something or someone, the ‘evil dreams’? Well in this piece the author stated that as soon as he got his visa to study in the US, California I believe, his dreams of being chased by monkeys were left behind at the embassy. It was as though his nightmares did not board the Arik Air flight with him. I have seen quite a number of strange things in my so far, short life on this planet - I'm from Mars in case you didn't know. I have seen grown men in Nigeria calling the police on their wives and I have seen grown women being chased by baby birds. Owing to the fact that I do not know it all, I have no right to decide that any person’s belief is unjustified. 

However, hearing things like “My neighbour chop winch, na she dey hold my progress - My neighbour is a witch, she is preventing me from progressing” is rather unsettling because instead of focusing on positive steps to make progress, people are choosing to fortify themselves with mystical objects sometimes even imported from outside our borders. It would surprise you to know that the native doctor near you probably has more followers than you do on twitter.

(Image Source)

Finally, I fear that until we can get a spiritual court and can show spiritual evidence, we are in a lot of trouble. Nevertheless, whatever your disposition; spiritually left or right, you are always welcome on the Local Hogwarts Express.






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